Unguarded overthinking is akin to a gaggle of toddlers running through the playground with sharp scissors-not good-potentially harmful.
If you are overthinking, most likely, you are obsessively worrying about your problems, challenges or an unpleasant situation.
All burdensome thoughts are opportunities in disguise, cleverly appealing to us through one of our strongest emotions, fear.
The best way I know how to untangle fear is to question it and have it provide evidence that what you fear is accurate. Through inquiry, the falsity of your fear loses its grip on your mind, and your mind begins to open up to new possibilities.
The next time you catch yourself overthinking, question your thoughts and observe how the inquiry process…
🌸 transforms your mindset from being challenged to being proactive,
🌸 encourages you to discern what you genuinely want to experience,
🌸 helps you to determine the best way forward,
🌸 inspires you to take the first few steps towards realizing your new opportunites.
Remember, the cause of your problems is not out there. They are mere thoughts ready to be turned around. 🦋
Authenticity Life Coaching helps you to consciously create a life that you not only deserve to live but are destined to live – a life driven by passion and purpose that you empower daily with a clear vision of who you are and what is essential for you to thrive across every aspect of your life. 🦋
When we imitate others for the safety of belonging, we walk down the wrong path toward suffering.
Luckily, our heart is true to whom we truly are; she will kick up an emotional storm to grab our attention to help us shift back onto our authentic path by embracing our original selves.
Our unpleasant, dark emotions are not to be feared, for they are intentionally disrupting our lives to help us to stop, to pause long enough to look within to reconnect to what is real and essential, our bliss. 🦋
One of the gifts or benefits of being more authentic is having a profound inner sense of freedom.
Freedom to make our own choices, express ourselves without fearing negative repercussions, and honour our values, passions, talents and purpose.
The following is a simple yet revealing three-point questionnaire that will uncover how consciously you are connected to your authentic self and the degree that you own your true self in your day-to-day life;
🌀 How much freedom do you have to make your own choices based on what you need/desire to feel whole, happy, and fulfilled?
🌀 How comfortable are you with expressing your own ideas, views and opinions in your relationships, at work and as a leader?
🌀 How often in a day do you feel authentic, fully expressing yourself, not play-acting to fulfill the expectations of others and society?
I suggest answering the three questions with one of the following responses;
🌀 I don’t know.
🌀 Not free.
🌀 Somewhat or sometimes free.
🌀 100% Free.
Authentic women own their inherent right to experience their freedom to be, do and have that which is true to their nature. 🦋
Today we live in a culture that advocates that a woman can ‘do it all’. Yes, of course, we can but at what cost?
Many women are experiencing low-grade burnout, compromised mental health, cognitive dissonance, and relentless fatigue.
Overextended and depleted, women are searching for solutions and many are turning to authenticity life coaching as a means to correct their inner-outer imbalance, to restore and sustain their sense of equanimity, joy and vitality.
As an authenticity life coach, I support my clients to…
🌸 Become more conscious of their authentic selves.
🌸 Develop a self-empowering mindset.
🌸 Proactively thrive in their multi-faceted life.
Authenticity is the holy grail that enhances our capacity to empower our life positively.
You are smart, capable and successful, yet deep down, you are terrified that at any time, you will be exposed as a fraud, a fake.
I just described imposter syndrome, a feeling in which accomplished women discredit their achievements and victories and believe that one day they will be found out.
Some signs of impostor syndrome include:
🌸 Crediting luck or timing as reasons for your success.
🌸 You are afraid of being seen as imperfect or a failure.
🌸 You believe that the only way to meet expectations is by overworking.
🌸 You don’t believe you are worthy of attention or affection.
🌸 You downplay your accomplishments.
🌸 You tend to procrastinate and hold back from reaching attainable goals.
Some steps to consider to overcome your imposter syndrome….
🌸 Realize that you are not alone in believing that you are a fraud. Indeed, it is estimated that 70% of individuals worldwide have experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their lives.
🌸 Acknowledge your potential and own your achievements both mentally and emotionally.
🌸 Identify and respect your feelings and fears and then put them to the side. Write out all of your achievements and success to date.
🌸 Stop comparing yourself to others by holding your achievements up against theirs; instead, focus on measuring your successes.
🌸 Hire a qualified life coach, like myself who can assist you with turning your thoughts, feelings and behaviour away from believing that you are a fake by supporting you with owning your authenticity and building your future on your actual strengths, accomplishments and successes. 🦋
The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s life is the source from which our self-empowerment flows.
A few notes on personal responsibility …
🌸 No one is going to save you; be your heroine.
🌸 Use your creative intelligence and agency to move through an unpleasant situation you find yourself in, no matter who may have caused it.
🌸 Make a conscious choice to process your unpleasant emotions such as shame, regret and guilt; otherwise, they will distort your reality.
🌸 Change what needs to be changed as soon as you can.
🌸 Your perspective will empower you or disempower you. You can choose your perspective.
🌸 Know and understand what is intrinsic to you and never compromise what you truly value.
🌸 Do hard things.
🌸 If you’ve failed, learn from the experience and move on with renewed knowledge and understanding.
🌸 Accept that life is 50/50, both light and dark and no addiction, bottle, distraction, cave, procrastination or denial will change that reality. However, knowing that you have the power to affect both the light and dark to your advantage is how you make your dreams come true. 🦋
Imagine if we believed that life is always working on our behalf. How differently would we respond to it’s bewildering twists and turns?
What if we believed that everything that we have and will experience is a means to help us to be more authentic, empowered and alive?
How would our perspective transform about whom we are in our story, victim or victor?
As a victor, we accept challenging situations and allow them to help us become wiser, stronger and more empowered as we walk along our path.
As a victim, we argue with reality, resist it, and become paralyzed in our own story, bemoaning the unfairness of life. As self-anointed victims, we’re stuck in our ignorance, we disempower our ability to effect change, and we struggle in our suffering mindset.
When a challenge, unpleasantness or a wrongness presents itself, remember its true purpose, breathe and listen to your inner truth whisper, ‘life doesn’t happen to me but for me.’
In the company of women, it’s easier for each of us to remember our own truth.
We remember that our lives depend on our capacity to drop all facades and pretenses.
We remember the bliss of just accepting that we are here to be ourselves.
And we remember, together, that the most powerful place for us to be, even if it’s sometimes terrifying, is fully in our body, so that we can move with the vulnerability and compassion of a broken-open heart. 🦋
Courage in an intimate relationship is not the absence of fear but a decision that you and your relationship are worth a moment of discomfort.
Silence in a relationship can not be an option because it gags our inherent right to love and be loved unconditionally — wholly and fully.
Wimping out in our relationship compromises our happiness, authenticity and self-respect. Inevitably, when we deny our truth, we step out of our empowered self and step into a victim mindset, swirling in shame, guilt and eventual regret.
Our intimate relationships are meant to be safe havens within which we can freely voice our fears, frustrations and disappointments, as well as, our needs and desires without the risk of being mentally or emotionally denied, dismissed or belittled.
For intimacy to flourish there cannot be the threat of a fall out for being human, vulnerable and real. A healthy and vibrant relationship embodies unbridled compassion, understanding and respect.
Intimacy requires the promise that our rights, needs and desires are valid and deserving to be acknowledged, cherished and encouraged both within ourself and in our relationship.
When we decide that we matter, (and we inherently do) we will find the way. I promise. 🦋
Being more authentic means that we are engaged in things and connected with people that matter to us, that make us feel more alive, happy and whole.
It also means that we don’t allow the expectations and opinions of others to limit who we are, what we do and where our passions and dreams want to take us.
Authenticity is a choice and a commitment we make everyday, to live our own reality based on our own sense of purpose, values and beliefs, and not ‘theirs’.
When we step off the prescribed path that ‘they’ have endorsed as good and worthy, we take a stand for all that we are and we begin to forge our own identity and destiny and not ‘theirs’.
As our connection to our authentic-self deepens, we are inner-inspired to satisfy our own needs and desires. We stop ignoring and suppressing our inherent life force for the sake of pleasing ‘them’ with the hope that we will receive ‘their’ benediction, approval and love rooted in ‘their’ conditions.
When we decide to acknowledge, appreciate and understand our true self, we begin to make different choices that not only support our intrinsic need to survive but to also thrive in the adventure of being real, doing things that reflect our truth and connecting with people that resonate with our heart and soul.
Essentially, in the realm of authenticity, we transform and refresh the quality and experience of living our very own unique and beautiful life and not ‘theirs’. 🦋
We live our lives in accordance to what we believe about ourself, our identity, what we can do and have, as well as, our limitations, what we cannot do and not have.
Our experiences are the offspring of what we believe.
When we transform our beliefs about the essence of ‘self’, our capabilities and limitations, we fundamentally transform our experiences.
Our beliefs are our life, we dream about them, focus on them and live them.
Imagine for a moment that some of your beliefs are wrong, and that you are so much more creative, courageous and powerful than you have allowed yourself to be, how would your life change? What possibilities would you allow yourself to live, to experience? 🦋
When we believe in ourself, we feel confident in our capacity and abilities to make things happen, such as manifesting our dreams, achieving our goals and living true our desires.
Self-belief is based on our self-knowledge including past positive memories of making a decision and successfully acting on it.
If your self-belief is wobbly, think of 25+ awesome things you are proud of that you have manifested, accomplished and achieved. Write them down, breath them in and tuck your ‘WOW’ list away for that next time you are riddled with self-doubt.
Once we have consciously reconnected to our power and emotionally absorbed how powerful we really are, our doubt of self fades and we are ready to go do our next ‘WOW’ thing. Let’s Go! 🦋
If you yearn to be more alive, empowered and thriving with a greater sense of passion, purpose, and authenticity, then reconnect to the five dimensions of your true-self and reimagine your life. Begin to live your life from the inside out and not from the outside in. 🦋
If you are contemplating how you will fill up your new year with fresh commitments, adventures and possibilities then you might want to consider what you filter your resolutions through.
The key to successfully fulfilling your New Year Resolutions this year and any year is your crystal clear honesty with yourself.
If your commitment(s) for the up coming year does not electrify your inner sense of being alive, authentic and thriving then wipe it off your list and cleanse your brain of it, because you will not fulfill it, and then you will most likely spiral into a self-loathing, poor me, pity pit that is never fun to climb out of.
Here is a sampling of the 3 intentions I filter my new year resolutions through before I commit to them.
✅ I will do what what energizes my mind, body, heart and soul the most.
✅ Listen to my inner voice, trust my gut and follow through on my intuition.
✅ Do more of what I’m passionate about, that is purpose driven, empowers me to grow and thrive and expands my horizons.
We can predict what we will experience in our future because right now we are creating it with our thoughts, emotional intelligence and habits. If your tomorrow is being built today, how’s it looking? 🦋
No matter what your goals plans or intentions are for the up coming new year, ( diet, exercise, money, career, relationships … ) cultivating a positive and loving relationship with yourself, the real you, is an essential first step to having your dreams come true. 🦋
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally…
Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.
When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…
Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….
But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement.
Everything is going to be alright. Intuitively, we know this. We also know that we are strong, powerful and resilient.
Globally, we know that the pandemic will flatten, the dust will settle and we will return to normal, a slightly altered normal but normal nevertheless.
Let us remember…
That cool heads prevail, to discern the facts from the drama. To be informed but to stop news binging. To talk ourselves down from our anxiety by disproving our fear based inner dialogue with actual facts.
To breath deeply, to reduce our anxiety quickly and naturally.
To journal about our thoughts and feelings with pen and paper.
Review our options.
To think creatively.
Act responsibly, follow the rules laid out by our government and medical officials.
Focus our attention on daily random acts of kindness, ours and others.
Fear is normal, leverage it, get proactive, creative and productive.
Clean, organize and purge your home, car, office, electronic files ….
Start that creative project you’ve been thinking about.
Learn something new, read watch a documentary or e-learning …
Go for walks in the park. Play with your children. Jog. Meditate. Workout …
Reach out with a helping hand to the vulnerable and frail in your community.
Mend those fences, forgive and make peace.
Watch or listen to comedy! Dance! Listen to nature sounds, meditative music and your favourite bands, musicians.
This is our time to govern our thoughts and feelings, open our heart and reach out to others with a helping hand and kindness.
If there was ever a time to have an immersive self-empowerment experience it’s now. Consciously, let us embody our authentic power and move forward with our innate creative power.
You are not alone, we are in this crisis together …
If you have positive, empowering, proactive, or pragmatic thoughts and recommendations to share, please comment below. 🦋