I think one of the most destructive beliefs we have about relationships is that our partner is responsible for meeting our needs. This belief is not only wrong, it is toxic poison, that destroys most relationships.
To be clear, he or she is not obligated to fulfilling your needs, you are. In turn, you are free from the nonsensical notion that it is your job to fulfill his or her needs.
However, and this is key for a thriving relationship, you are both equally responsible for meeting the needs of your relationship.🦋
The question ‘why’ is a door way into our inner world, our thoughts, the driving force of all of our experiences. Here are a few ‘why’ questions you may want to ask yourself. Warning, these questions may inspire you to own your power. Why am I choosing to think that? Why am I choosing to feel that? Why am I choosing to do that? Why am I choosing to create that. Why am I choosing to sabotage that? Why am I choosing to doubt myself? Why am I procrastinating? Why am I overweight, in debt, struggling at work, still in this relationship, not in a relationship … 🦋
The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say “I.”
And that’s not because they have trained themselves not to say “I.”
They don’t think “I.”
They think “we”; they think “team.”
They understand their job to be to make the team function.
They accept responsibility and don’t sidestep it, but “we” gets the credit….
This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done.
~ Peter Drucker
Every person must follow her own process.
No one else knows what is right for another.
There is no goal in living our process, except to live it.
Our processes can change.
Our lives can change as we participate in the process.
Our only requirement is to trust the process and live in faith.
Our responsibility is to live out what our Creator asks of us.
To live our lives.
Living our process demands a deep spiritual commitment of being one with one’s life.
~ Anne Wilson Schaef
The basic step in achieving inward freedom is “choosing one’s self.”
This strange sounding phrase of Kierkegaard’s means to affirm one’s responsibility for one’s self and one’s existence.
It is the attitude which is opposite to blind momentum or routine existence; it is an attitude of aliveness or decisiveness; it means that one recognizes that he exists in his particular spot in the universe, and he accepts the responsibility for his existence.
This is what Nietzsche meant by the “will to live”; not simply the instinct for self-preservation, but the will to accept the fact that one is one’s self, and to accept responsibility for fulfilling one’s destiny, which in turn implies accepting the fact that one must make his basic choices himself.
~ Rollo May
We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who’s right and who’s wrong.
We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don’t like about our associates or our society.
It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better.
Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself.
Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.
~ Pema Chödrön